Forward Through the Fog

I'm very good at discerning when to stay put and not go out into bad weather. Too good, really. I'm not a brave driver who wants to conquer anything. When I lived in snow country, I was basically a wuss. When it's foggy outside, I stay put. When the "fog" is proverbial...I am good at waiting. I don't like it, but I can wait.

When I'm trying to get through the proverbial fog in life and discern a direction, catch a vision, grab a conviction...I can usually do that too pretty well. As soon as there's a break in the fog of confusion or a lifting of the blanket of the unknown, I can often quickly discern a direction and go for it.

What I've learned I cannot do well is push myself forward through the fog. As I said...I'm a wuss. I'm finding that somewhere around 50, a heavy blanket of fog set in and my life felt like it came to somewhat of a wussy, wavering stall-out. I suppose some would call it a "midlife crisis." Mine felt more like a midlife muddle. In some respects I'm still in it, yet I'm learning something about it.

I'm trying to get better at continuing to move forward through the foggy times in my life. Even if it's just one step at a time. The truth is, of course, none of us knows if we have another step to take. So, fog or not, all we really can do is fill that one next step ahead of us with all the purpose, conviction, vision, and fulfillment possible, just in case there isn't a next step. If you can only see the distance of your arm held out in front of you, well...fill that arm's length with all the purpose and intentionality you can. No, it may not be a huge accomplishment, or a world-changing phenomenon; it may not be the end goal you've always been dreaming of, but it will at least be an arm's length of knowing you lived fully and faithfully.

I've also discovered it's really a matter of trust. In the fog, you use your past experience to know the road is there, even if you can't see it. I'm learning to trust that all I have been and all I will be as God intends and is shaping me for is true. It is still present within me even though I may not be able to see it or feel it in the murky mud of midlife. There is a road I'm on. There is a destination I'm heading for. The road is good. I can keep taking those steps forward, trusting myself to the foggy way.