"Threshold" - A Fairy Tale

I will plant

a berry bush
on the edge of a forest.
One day
the creatures of
sunlight and air
and the creatures of
shadows and moss
might come and eat.
In meeting,
they will discover
they both love berries.

The Spiritual Practice of Car-Buying

This week, like it or not, my spiritual practice has been trying to buy a car. (As of this post...we're still practicing!) Over a 27 year marriage, and 50-something years of life, you learn some things about the world, about God, about yourself, and your beloved when you buy a car. 1. You enter and begin this practice usually when something is broken and cannot be repaired...usually it's the old car, but perhaps at times, it might be something else...something that has left you on the side of a road somewhere, or stranded in some way. So, car-buying is first and foremost a practice in healing and making one's life whole and functional again. 2. It is a paradoxical experience of inconvience and irritation, with a bit of excitment and anticipation, anger and frustration and relief all rolled up together. 3. It is also a sort of dance between the known and unknown, between one's ability to stretch and one's limitations, between what we can control and forces beyond control. 4. It is a practice that teaches you about your partner's entire life perspective...such as his/her levels of acceptable risk vs. comfort, attitude toward economics, aesthetics vs. utilitarian factors, how each of you approach and handle stress and decision-making. 5. It is a good Buddhist practice of learning unattachment. 6. It is a good Christian practice of balancing sacrifice, responsibility, and good stewardship. 7. It is a good Hindu practice of experiencing karma - good or bad, depending on how well you took care of your previous car, insurance, etc. 8. It's a good Jewish practice because undoubtedly you have the voice of your mother and father reciting their car-buying principals in your head the whole time! 9. Car-buying is also a practice in gratitude. You may be grateful (as I was) that things are not worse, and that you are in a position to buy a car - however old you may have to go. You also may be grateful for the expertise of others, and for the rare car salesman you may find that you actually like and dare to trust!

New Beatitudes for an Old Church

Let’s just stop for a minute. Just stop. Let’s take a break from talking around our denominational tables and clergy circles about the state of declining churches. Let’s pause for a moment from all the pedistalling of pastors who take their churches from 20 to 2000 members. Let’s stop beating ourselves up for somehow failing our forebears and our God by somehow letting the Church in our charge fall into the gutter, heading, we fear, for extinction. Rather than pulling out our hair with frustration and fear…or trying to set bigger and more ambitious goals for ourselves…or trying to do more of things that are not working begin with…let’s just stop and listen to some adapted Good News. Blessed are the empty pews – they make space for angels. Blessed are those who nurse old buildings, they keep the sacred flame in secret spaces. Blessed are the tiny acts of tired people, they are the seeds of revelation. Blessed are the 90-year-old organists – they hold the songs of heaven in their bones. Blessed are the keepers of the kitchen - they tend the holy hearth of God’s kin-dom. Blessed are the tentative treasurers – they dare to dance with the dangerous Spirit. Blessed are the grandmothers who tenaciously attend, sit alone, and grieve their family’s disinterest - their prayers will birth a new age. Blessed are the broken-hearted pastors – they shall see the heart of God long-overlooked. Blessed are the broken-hearted pastors – their tears cut the crusts of false prosperity and pride. Blessed are the broken-hearted pastors – their laments in dark corners are the laboring groans of a new creation.

Freedom...

I always come to July 4 with some ambivalence. I’ve never been a big flag-waver…but seeing a flag waving silently in a poignant moment always brings some tears to my eyes. I have grown up in the first generation of our country’s history (the Baby Boomers) who has been formed and influenced more by shameful actions and motivations of a few leaders, governmental and business institutions, than by pride and confidence in our country. And, I don’t think it’s gotten much better with later generations. However, this is not to say I’ve given up on freedom, and it being the basic inalienable ideal and foundation of our nation. Nor, despite the cynicism, the corruptions, the crumbling effectiveness of our political institutions, have I given up on the foundational values of our nation’s history…but let’s be clear: there’s freedom, and then there’s FREEDOM. There is a self-centered, tantrum-esque type of freedom that says I’m free to do and say whatever I want, whenever I want, however much I want…and to heck with everyone else that doesn’t agree with me or look like me or vote like me. And there is a Freedom that says, we are in this together, you and I…and so we are each free to consider the best for both of us and all of us together. In fact, there is also the Freedom that says, my freedom is directly dependent on not just your freedom, but the freedom and integrity of every other person in the world. But, therein lies the rub, no? How do we comprehend - let alone protect - the Freedom of every other person in the world without some guns and angry words and covert ops involved? God tells us – we start with our own heart. ‘God has told you, O Mortal what is good;what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” Micah 6:8 This is what we are free to choose or not. So - my July 4th menu? A little justice, kindness please, and then for desert, a humble walk with God.

My Monk-ly Moments

I’m learning to be a monk. Actually, I think I’m already a monk, but I’m learning how to come out of the closet (or cloister might be a more monk-ly word). My monk-ly moments obviously include times when I want to retreat to some quiet place, or I want to be alone with my thoughts, reflections and prayers…but I’m learning that, more importantly, it means that I give myself permission to discover and create a rhythm to my days (something I’m not all that good at yet); to be willing to let go of some of the trappings of institutional survival that shrink-wraps so many aspects of leading church in these transitional times. I’m learning to let my anxieties go…like gently pushing a canoe off a shore of a still lake. I am learning to detect the brief sparkles of God in the peripheries of my vision when I’m doing my daily chores. Some might think that being a pastor would give me ample opportunity and excuse to be a monk, and in many respects, that is so. But not always. In fact, sometimes it complicates matters. Sometimes I think I’m worshipping God, only to find I’ve been too self-focused on my own performance in worship. I’ve been too attentive to trying to please everyone else, but may have neglected offering my own broken and contrite heart to God, truly and with authenticity. Sometimes I think I’m giving my all, making selfless sacrifices for the good of others, only to find myself exhausted and burned out, with God asking why hadn’t I trusted the other people God sent to be my companions and partners in my labors? Why did I feel I had to do it all myself? God made us for mutuality, not isolation. Learning to be a monk means, not that I isolate myself from the world, but that I learn how to see God in the essence of each and every moment. These are Monk-ly Moments.

Finding My Joy

I started a personal journey about a month ago. I wanted to explore JOY. Not because I’m an expert, but because I was hungering for it. So, as a preacher by trade…I did the thing I do the best: preach to myself. What I discovered within my four-week exploring was some interesting manifestations of Joy. (I felt a little like John Wesley preaching on grace…that in itself perked me up…And then a little like C.S. Lewis, when joy sprung out and took me by surprise!) ANTICIPATING JOY. I love to have something to look forward to, and I realized I wasn’t doing that as much as I use to when my life’s schedule was more topsy-turvy. But Jesus kept giving his disciples things they could look forward to… “I”ll go away, but I’ll be back,” “God will give you an advocate,” “You’ll do greater things than I’ve done.” So, I began to find things to look forward to. But joy isn’t the same as just things that make you happy, so I also began to anticipate that joy might have something in store for me that I couldn’t quite imagine. ..and that also was something to look forward to! EMERGING JOY. This is the growing light- at-the-end-of-a tunnel experience. It’s not big or thunderous. It’s tiny and twinkling, just glimpsed from peripheral vision. What emerging joy does for me is refocus from the big picture to the immediate present. Joy is emerging. Watch for it..right here, just a glimpse, at my feet! Emerging joy happens in the present, but is not completed in the present. It draws me forward, it motivates change and hope. It’s the vital energy that comes back to me as an affirmation from the Universe that I’m on the right track. It’s the manna for the day, that tells me to take one more step, and then another. So, I began to pay attention to my peripheral vision each day. What joy might be emerging in a word, or a brief conversation, a task completed, a creative energy? EMPOWERING JOY. This is the big stuff…it was the Pentecost joy, the leap-into-dance joy. It’s the a-ha moment, when all seems to fall together and the world opens like it’s been triggered by the correct secret password. It’s the hurricane wind and wildfire joy that catches up everything in its path. No more explanation needed. LIVING JOY. This is the joy that comes when I’ve reclaimed my center, my truest purposes and being. I can walk this joy day to day, no matter what comes because it is deeper than and truer than the world, the self, the ego. Living joy is the treasure hidden in clay pots of mylife. By paying attention to the other joys…I found this living joy sneaking up on me and sitting right by my side, where it’s been all along, giggling. O Joy to the world!