I don't mean to be melodramatic or cliche. But, the phrase that gained popularity when I was in my teens...about, wow...40 years ago..."Today is the first day of the rest of your life," has suddenly taken on new and immediate meaning for me.Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Today, July 1, 2013, I am officially unemployed. The Church in my life, my vocation, my paycheck, are all now on an indefinate hiatus. So my biggest question this morning I put to God...Who the heck am I without those things? And then the next that immediately followed, Who do I WANT to be? The answer to both came quickly: I'm not sure I have a clue, but I'm going to take some time to find out.
How much has my vocation, being pastor of a church, shaped who I am. How much has the paycheck that it always afforded me, shaped the decisions I made, the actions I took, what I said and didn't say, did or didn't do...even believed or didn't believe??
Monday is normally my Sabbath day. My day off. Today I woke up and thought, what does my Sabbath mean now that I don't have my normal "work" on the other days of the week? Well, it means that my new role as primary homemaker and all the tasks and chores that go along with that, will wait for tomorrow. (Note: this is has NEVER been a role given nor expected from me before, but as my husband's and my usual ethic of equally balanced work to support the family has long been in place, now my side of the balance seems to be, by default, in immediate orbit around our house!)
In all my previous understandings and practices of Sabbath-keeping, I know that it is a temple built of Holy Time. It is sacred space, when I cease doing the usual (check!), I rest in God's care, I embrace the values and practices that I really, intentionally, want for myself and what God calls me to, and I feast on all the goodness that God offers me.
Hmm, that sounds like a pretty good start for the first day of the rest of my life! In fact that might be pretty good practice for everyday for the rest of my life. And, so my journey into the rest of my life begins with this Sabbath day.
1 comment:
Good luck with your seeking and pondering, Barb. As usual, it is hard to live into the waiting times and be patient with how long it sometimes takes (in human time) for God to reveal God's direction and plan to us and for us. May you be patient; may you be blessed.
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